


"Fine! I like him!" (you what now?)

by notmadderred



Series: Daredevil/Punisher Fics [12]
Category: Daredevil (TV), The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Bisexual Frank Castle, Bisexual Matt Murdock, Brett Mahoney Knows Matt Is Daredevil, Dex Is Disgusted That He Kissed Someone, Foggy's Going to Hear About This, Gen, Humor, Identity Reveal, Kissing, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-27 22:13:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17775173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notmadderred/pseuds/notmadderred
Summary: They were still acting weird once Matt got them a block away. The substance seemed contained to the warehouse, so this… wasn’t ideal. Their heart rates were still high, they were starting to sweat…He sighed, muttering a quick, “Behave,” before pulling out his phone and pressing Brett Mahoney’s number. He offered a brief rundown, warning about the chemicals in the air, before hanging up and putting it away.Matt returned his focus to the other two.Dex had stepped closer to Frank at some point, using all two inches of height he had on the other man to smile down deviously. Frank was watching him closely, a soft growl escaping his throat.The body language and scent was telling. Matt tried to keep the defensiveness from his tone as he offered, “Guys?”Thisreallywasn’t ideal.He was also pretty sure it wasn’t normal, seeing as Frank would definitely have inflicted damage upon Dex’s person by this point.





	"Fine! I like him!" (you what now?)

It started out so well.

But, as things do when Matthew Murdock is involved, it very quickly descended to shit. In all honesty, he should’ve expected as much. Matt alone was bad enough, but Matt with two murderers (albeit, one being ‘former’ and the other being ‘reforming’)? That was the stuff of nightmares.

It could’ve been worse. But _it started out well_ \-- really! Frank was shooting people in the knees and other pointedly non-lethal areas, and Dex was doing his usual alterations between Daredevil-style fighting and throwing abandoned objects just hard and fast enough to knock out the enemies. Matt, of course, was doing his thing while also babysitting the two fellow vigilantes.

It seemed like they’d all done successful damage control. Matt almost puffed his chest out in pride.

“Is that all of ‘em, Red?” Frank asked, crouching over one unconscious man and checking his pulse. Dex had offered him a particularly nasty blow with a screwdriver.

Matt tilted his head, ignoring as Dex leaned in toward Frank and said, “He looks like a dumbass when he does that.” Frank gave him a Look and Dex snorted. “Right. You probably think it’s cute.”

Matt chose to ignore his own blush, continuing to listen for any stragglers.

Frank glared. “You tilt your head like an asshole all the time.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do, kid,” Frank finished with a snort. Dex crossed his arms and huffed, which was better than chucking the nearest object into the wall.

“No. No one else,” Matt finally answered before taking a deep whiff. Something was off. “Do either of you… smell anything? Or see something?”

Dex shrugged. “The air’s all dusty. I dunno what to tell you.” He frowned, turning in a quick circle. “Wait.”

“What?” said Frank, glancing around as well. 

“I…” Dex put a hand on the back of his neck, “I think… we may need to leave.”

Matt straightened before jumping off the shipping container. “Why? Do we need to get these people out?”

“I don’t…” Dex squinted beneath his mask. “I think it’s an experimental substance lifted from the FBI. I definitely recognize the type of box this shit’s leaking from.”

“It’s _leaking_ from somewhere?” said Frank, shoulders drawing back as he weighed in the new threat.

Shit. Shitshitshit. He didn't think it smelled or tasted particularly dangerous, but he couldn’t be sure. Especially since Frank and Dex’s heart rates were raising -- they’d been more directly exposed in the initial release (God, he hated guns -- a stray bullet was always bound to poke a hole in exactly the wrong place), so it seemed like a warning sign. They also weren’t moving to leave, even once Matt began to lead the way.

With a nervous hum, he went back, grabbing each of their elbows. Surprisingly, neither of them shook him off. “Let’s go,” he said.

Frank grunted but allowed Matt to drag him out, and Dex followed suit without protest.

They were still acting weird once Matt got them a block away. The substance seemed contained to the warehouse, so this… wasn’t ideal. Their heart rates were still high, they were starting to sweat…

He sighed, muttering a quick, “Behave,” before pulling out his phone and pressing Brett Mahoney’s number. He offered a brief rundown, warning about the chemicals in the air, before hanging up and putting it away.

Matt returned his focus to the other two.

Dex had stepped closer to Frank at some point, using all two inches of height he had on the other man to smile down deviously. Frank was watching him closely, a soft growl escaping his throat.

The body language and scent was telling. Matt tried to keep the defensiveness from his tone as he offered, “Guys?”

This _really_ wasn’t ideal.

He was also pretty sure it wasn’t normal, seeing as Frank would definitely have inflicted damage upon Dex’s person by this point.

The two ignored him, caught in what Matt was pretty sure was a staring contest. Was this the chemical’s fault? What was happening?

When Frank suddenly grabbed ahold of Dex’s arm to steer him so his back slammed into the wall of the nearest building, Matt almost sighed with relief. _That_ was the Frank Castle he knew.

And then in a very interesting turn of events, Frank started devouring Dex’s face.

Not literally, of course, but Matt almost would’ve preferred that over what was actually happening, especially because of the tight, angry feeling in his chest that came of it.

It wasn’t pretty or careful -- Frank’s kiss was hot, rough as he forced Dex’s body to line flat against the building with his own. Dex was practically nipping at him, squirming as he tried to regain the upper hand. He hooked Frank’s leg with his own, sending them both sprawling on the floor. Neither seemed to care, as Dex was now on top of Frank, one hand yanking back his hair and the other cupping his jaw. Frank reciprocated by squeezing Dex’s sides hard enough to make him gasp.

“Oh, shit,” said Matt, starting to step forward to intervene before stepping back then stepping forward again. Oh, shit. This was awkward. But he needed to do something. Goddammit.

And, yeah, he definitely needed to step in because Dex pulled a knife out from _somewhere_ and was tracing it along Frank’s neck and Frank was growling again and trying to grab something of his own and it would probably end up being a gun and fuck Matt really couldn’t deal with this right now oh shit

Before he could think twice, he grabbed Dex and fucking threw him away.

Dex yelped when he hit the floor before he scrambled up to his feet, eyes trained back on Frank.

Frank stood up, shaking out his head and muttering something incoherent.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

Matt turned suddenly so he was facing Brett Mahoney, who was watching the current exchange with a hand hovering over his pistol. “Uh,” said Matt, but then Dex was moving forward so Matt nabbed him again. Dex didn't try attacking him, instead just attempting to force himself past with a childish understanding about facing obstacles. “Uh,” Matt said again.

Frank moved next. Matt released one hand to give Frank a sharp shove backward.

“The hell?” said Brett.

“Chemicals,” said Matt.

“Oh.” Brett dropped his hands, apparently determining that the two stumbling vigilantes weren’t much of a real threat. “What do they want with each other?”

Matt grimaced. “I’d rather not explain that.” Then he took a sharp step back, Dex falling with him. “Wait, you aren’t going to--”

“Arrest you? Not right now. I’m… a bit more open to your methods so long as no one dies.”

Dex chose that moment to acquire some intelligence as he performed a sudden judo move that put Matt on the floor and set him free to charge at Frank.

Frank only released a small grunt when Dex fucking stabbed the knife into his thigh. He put the gun he’d pulled nozzle-up under Dex’s chin, and Dex tittered at that, hand still on the handle of his knife. The pair paced back until Frank put his free hand against the back of Dex’s head to pull him in for another kiss, the gun shifting to land against the side of Dex’s face.

Brett’s jaw dropped as Matt released a truly unholy stream of curses and scrambled over to them. He got the gun first, sliding it away before pulling them apart. “For fuck’s--” he turned to Brett, “Grab him,” he said, pushing Dex to him.

Brett caught Dex with a shout of surprise.

Matt assessed Frank, reaching his senses to the stab wound. It hadn’t hit anything major, of course, but the fact that it happened in the first place was fucking ridiculous. “I’m going to kill you,” he muttered.

Then he scooped Frank over his shoulder, groaning at the effort. 

“What are you-- what am I supposed to do with this guy?”

Matt shot him a grin. “Follow me. He can walk. Besides, I’m sure he’ll try to stay as close to Frank as possible.”

 

Curtis was not at all pleased to have Matt and a detective show up at his door. 

“I don’t have a mask,” he said, crossing his arms at Matt walked in, Frank still on his shoulder.

Brett sighed and tugged Dex along. “Don’t worry. I have no plans for charging you any time soon.”

Curtis sighed but still shut the door behind Brett. “What happened?”

Matt put Frank on the couch and pointed at the knife.

“That’s nothing,” he said, frowning. “He’s walked on way worse.”

“What the hell did I get myself into?” said Brett, releasing Dex like an idiot. “I should be back at the crime scene.”

“But you aren’t, which means you probably don’t need to be,” said Matt, stepping between Dex and Frank. Frank was already moving to stand up.

The small skip in Brett’s heart told Matt he was right. “I know you from somewhere, don’t I?” he said instead.

Matt frowned. “Now isn’t the best time--”

“Woah, woah, woah,” said Curtis, running over to put Frank down and start tackling the knife. “Wait,” he said, frowning, “isn’t this Dex’s knife?”

“You just name-dropped,” said Matt.

“Shit,” Curtis said, shoving Frank down again. “Sorry.”

“I don’t know who that is,” said Brett, “but right now, I don’t care. Bullseye, Dex-- not my problem. But he just went past you, Daredevil.”

Matt whipped around to capture Dex once more.

Dex whined and shifted, so Matt pulled him tight against his chest. Curtis lifted an eyebrow. “They’re… sort of lusting over each other because of some chemicals from the warehouse we took out earlier,” he said.

Dex elbowed Matt hard. Matt took a deep breath.

Curtis shoved Frank against the couch again as he began to wrap the leg. “Neither of them’ll be happy when they pull it together.” He moved to Frank’s face, examining each of his eyes. “Damn. His pupils are seriously dilated. I’m guessing Bullseye is the same way.”

Dex whined again. 

“I’d imagine so.”

Curtis crossed his arms as he rose up. “What about you? Were you affected?”

Dex kicked out his legs. God, it was like he was restraining a six-year-old. “Not that I know of,” he said.

“Well, why not?”

Matt frowned. “Probably has to do with seeing the--” He stopped. Blinked. Retraced his steps as fast as he could because _Brett was there how could he forget Brett was there_ , “seeing each other first when the chemicals hit.”

Brett seemed… amused. “Well, then, if that was the case, why wouldn’t you have started lusting over which of them you saw first?”

“Maybe not because they were already affected? I don’t know,” he snapped. Wow. He was such a dumbass.

Frank rolled off the couch.

Everyone ignored him except Dex, who squawked and started kicking harder.

“I have some sedatives,” Curtis said. “Those could be useful.”

“Maybe the chemicals haven’t kicked in for you yet,” Brett continued. Matt knew the man well enough to know he was trying to be an asshole. “Should we sedate you, too?”

Dex’s head whipped back, striking Matt in the jaw. Curtis winced sympathetically. “Yeah, I’ll get those sedatives.”

Frank was crawling to his feet. Thank God the effects on him seemed a bit languid. Matt wouldn’t be able to handle two Dexs.

“Mind making sure Frank doesn’t get up to anything?” Matt asked Brett, angling his head to Frank.

Brett scoffed. “Better than dealing with that hyperactive asshole. You’ll leave with a few bruises after this.”

Matt shook his head derisively as Brett walked toward Frank. “So will these two. They weren’t exactly being gentle.”

“Please don’t tell me that.”

Matt smirked. “Aw, not here for it?”

“No,” Brett shot back. “I’m used to Frank being practically unstoppable, not acting like some high college frat guy. Look at this.” He gestured broadly at Frank, whose eyes were set determinedly on Dex. He took a step onto his stabbed leg and fell. “Dear God. Seriously, Matt. What did you do to this guy?”

“I already told you I didn't do anything.” He crossed his arms. “I don’t use a gun, so I’m not responsible for putting the bullet in the crate.”

Brett’s heart jumped for some reason. “Yeah, I don’t think it’d be easy for you to get a license to carry.”

“Wow. So original.” Matt shook his head. It was original, but he wasn’t about to tell Brett that.

Wait.

One side of Matt’s lips twitched upward. “I am literate. My handwriting is just bad.”

Brett’s heart skipped again. Matt was referencing some of the notes he’d leave behind before he turned to simply calling Brett. The handwriting was atrocious. He’d heard the cops making quips about it.

“I wasn’t making a literacy joke,” Brett said. As Frank stood up, Brett pushed him to the side a bit. Frank toppled onto the couch. Matt angled his head down a bit so he appeared to be looking at Frank.

“Uh huh,” said Matt. Frank seemed fairly calm. The effects must have been weak on him. His heart rate was slowing down, and he wasn’t sweating as much as before. 

Dex, meanwhile, lunged forward. Matt released him. Dex, not expecting this, fell face-first onto the ground.

“Ouch,” said Brett. “Was that necessary?”

“Oh, he deserves it. Dex is a little shit.”

Brett snorted. “Sounds like you got a soft spot for him.”

Before Dex could run off, there was a sharp _thwip_ , and his heartbeat immediately began to slow as his breaths steadied and eyes closed.

Matt grinned. “Thanks, Curtis,” he said. “I think Frank should be fine. It’s already wearing off.”

“How do you know?” asked Brett.

“How do you not?” said Matt. He really shouldn’t be interacting this much with the detective. Every other time they’d met had been short meetings ending abruptly as Matt parkoured away, and Matt had always made sure to keep his tone low.

There were a few seconds of silence as Curtis looked between the two of them.

Brett’s heart jumped one more time. Then, “Hey, you know Frank pretty well, right?”

Matt squinted behind his mask. What was his plan?

Curtis huffed and picked up Dex like he was nothing before moving him over to the recliner. “I’ve known Frank for a long-ass time, and Daredevil here has gotten pretty close with him this past year. Why?”

Brett put his hands in his pockets and shifted his weight onto his heels. “I’ve gotten word from a friend of mine -- Foggy -- that one of his buddies has been crushing pretty hard on him.”

Oh, Foggy was so dead. Matt was never going to get drunk around him ever again.

“That so?” said Curtis.

Brett hummed. “Well, I was wondering what I should tell Foggy. See, he has this wild idea to set the two of them up.”

Matt’s heart stopped dead.

“But neither of us know whether or not Frank is in a relationship or if he’s even interested in men.”

“So it’s Foggy’s _male_ friend,” Curtis drawled.

Matt swallowed and was trying very, very hard not to blush. “I think that’s Frank’s business,” he said.

Brett lifted his hands. “I just want you two to talk to Frank about it. Esp--”

“Oh, trust me. Frank doesn’t give a shit who knows what,” Curtis said, grinning. Goddamnit. Now Matt was stuck between two assholes. “I mean, he’s bi, but he has a hard time admitting that he likes someone. Tough guy stereotype, y’know.”

Brett nodded. “But is he at least nice? Patient? If Frank isn’t a good guy, I wouldn’t want to set him up with a friend.”

“And what friend is this? If I know him, I could probably give some better advice.”

Matt bravely resisted the urge to punch Curtis in the face. For such a nice guy, he really knew how to fuck with people.

“Matt Murdock,” said Brett.

Curtis looked to Matt. “That so? You know Matt, right? He was the lawyer side to taking down Fisk.”

Matt almost stuck out his tongue. Then, because fuck them both, he did. “I hate you,” he said.

Curtis chuckled lowly. 

“Why? What’s up?” Brett asked with so much faux innocence, _God_. 

Matt turned to Brett. “I’m definitely going to kill Foggy,” he said.

Brett’s face did a thing, but Matt couldn’t quite make it out.

He took off his mask so he could glare more resolutely, even as his eyes remained looking a bit downward. “Congrats. It’s me. You are _hilarious_ ,” he ground out.

Brett smirked. “You responded to your name a while ago, dumbass. And I already knew you liked Frank. Foggy didn't have to confirm it, so no need to kill him.”

“What?” Matt squawked, tossing the mask to the floor. “No. No way. I do not--”

“You seemed pretty jealous back there when Dex and Frank were kissing,” said Brett.

“And you definitely seemed pissed every time one of them went after the other once you got here,” said Curtis. “Classic jealousy.”

“I-- I am _not_ \-- I wasn’t--” He kicked a leg out and turned around. “Fine! Whatever! But you didn't need to convince me to take off the mask by revealing that I like Frank. You could’ve just--”

“You what now?”

Matt froze. Curtis choked. Brett scrambled a few feet away from Frank, who was leaning up and rubbing his head.

“Uh, nothing?” said Matt. “Are you feeling better? Did it wear off?”

Frank snorted, absentmindedly rubbing a hand against his thigh. “Fuck you. Yeah, it wore off. Jesus.”

Curtis released an awkward laugh and walked over to clap Frank on the back. “Sounded like an interesting story.”

Frank rolled his eyes. “Shuddup.”

“You two were really going at it,” said Brett.

Matt sensed the heat crawl up the back of Frank’s neck. “I remember. Even though my brain was fried.” He shook his head slightly, shooting a glance in Dex’s direction. Dex was still knocked out in the recliner.

Matt winced, but at least it seemed like Frank had missed what he said earlier. Small blessings.

Frank finally stood up, shifting his weight to his injured leg to test it out. Apparently unbothered by the pain, he walked over to Matt. “You good, Red?”

Matt pursed his lips. “Mmhm.”

Frank clapped his back. Sighed. “Yeah, I heard you, Red.”

Matt leaped back waving his hands in his face like an idiot. “No, wait! I can ex-- it’s not what you-- I didn't--”

“Was it the chemicals talkin’?”

Matt groaned and let his shoulders sag. “No.”

Frank grinned. 

Matt narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“Good,” said Frank, and then he leaned in, planting a kiss on Matt’s lips.

Matt blinked, only kissing back for a split second before Frank pulled back.

He blinked again. “I--”

“Why is this the day that I meet all you vigilantes?” Brett bemoaned. “Of course it’d be when you’re all kissing each other.”

“This last one was your fault,” said Curtis.

Brett flipped him the bird.

“Huh,” said Matt. His mind was officially molasses. “That was unexpected.”

Frank lifted his brows, unimpressed.

“Maybe we should do it again when I can’t taste Dex.”

Brett lifted his hands in the air and turned around. “I’m leaving. And I’m going straight to Foggy, so screw you Matt Murdock.”

Matt didn't bother stopping him.

Frank was staring at Brett’s retreating back, amused.

“Wha’ ‘appened?” came a slur from the recliner. 

“Maybe don’t ask,” said Curtis.

“Maybe fu’ you,” said Dex, standing up on wobbly legs.

“You killed the mood, Red,” said Frank. “Then you mention the kid’s name. Thought you knew he was like Beetlejuice when it came to that.”

Matt elbowed him, but his brain was still trying to take it all in. Frank was so calm. As if he hadn’t just completely swept Matt off his feet.

Or maybe he was just smug about it.

“Beetle--” said Dex, “I’m not…” He screwed in his nose before reaching to take off his mask. He glanced around. “Oh, God,” he said.

“Are you remembering now?” asked Curtis.

Dex frowned. “I… maybe?”

“It was the drugs,” Frank said, perhaps too quickly.

Dex frowned. “No shit. Ugh. Disgusting.”

Matt actually laughed at that. “Was Frank that bad a kisser?”

“Um, no -- I was. I’ve never kissed anyone before.” He tossed his mask to the side. 

Frank looked at Matt. Matt blinked. “Wait, what? I mean--”

Dex took another wobbly step before giving up and sitting back down on the recliner. “What a yike. I’m never doing that again.” He waved a hand in front of his nose as though he smelled something foul.

Matt laughed at him. Dex scowled. Frank moved his hand to Matt’s shoulder and shrugged. “S’alright. Guess I’ll just stick to Red over here.”

“Oh, wow,” said Matt. “I’m flattered. Really.”

“Aw, what about me?” Curtis crooned, putting his hands under his chin.

“You look ridiculous,” said Matt.

“Like you would know,” Curtis shot back.

“You look ridiculous,” said Frank.

Matt pointed at Frank. “See? This is why I like him.”

“And this is why I hate all of you,” said Dex, lying down. “Please leave. I have a fight to pick with Curtis for shooting me in the ass with a tranq.”

Frank huffed. “I wasn’t aware.”

Curtis shrugged. “It’s an easy target, Dex.”

Dex glared. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ll understand when you’re older,” said Matt.

“You’re barely older than me!”

“We’ll let you deal with Curtis,” said Frank, and Curtis’s head whipped to face Frank while gaping. “Red and I’ll be at-- what’s that bar you like? Josie’s?”

Matt nodded.

“We’ll be at Josie’s if you need us. Don’t kill my friend,” he said.

“Fuck you!” Curtis called to their retreating backs as Dex snickered.

Frank swooped and grabbed Matt’s helmet on the way before shutting the door behind them. “So,” he said, grinning, “are we goin’ civilian or vigilante?”

Matt matched Frank’s grin with his own and took his helmet. “We’ll head to my place and change first. I’d rather not stick out so much on our first date.”

Frank made some kind of cooing noise. “A date. Very official.”

“Shut up. And don’t make bird noises at me.”

Frank cooed the whole way back to Matt’s apartment.

**Author's Note:**

> this is what I sound like three days on no sleep
> 
> (but lol this was a rollercoaster I had no idea what was coming next)
> 
> ((pls... tell me if it's incomprehensible... point out errors... I need to edit at least one of these stories before I publish but alas... I have not...))


End file.
